sorry it's been so long. a lots been going on. i've had happy, amazing days i never wanted to see come to an end, but i've also had depressing, ugly days that dragged on for too long. luckily, today, i'm in a generally neutral mood. this weekend was, to say the least, amazing.
on thursday, i went out to eat with my mom, dad, grandparents, and brother, then went out to dylan's house where my mom got even more wasted with dylan's mom, and where i got to just hang out with him. then we took him over to our house at like 10pm, and he slept over, because we left for disneyland the next day.
friday and saturday were amazing. me and dylan spent those days in disneyland, and california adventures. besides the chilly weather, it was really nice spending time with him, definitely a good birthday present. i'll never forget just walking all over the parks holding his hands, and watching the fireworks with him.
we drove back today, and luckily the ride home felt shorter than the ride there. what sucks is that the weekends already over, but what's a plus is that i actually turn 16 tomorrow. isn't that insane? the big 1-6. it came before i know it, and looking back all i can think about are the breath taking moments, but also, the moments that kicked the breath right out of me. broken promises, stupid fights, excessive crying, unnecessary heartbreak. But thank god that the good outweighed the bad. i found love that is unexplainable, shared memories that are worth a lifetime, spent long nights i know i'll never forget, and finally let myself be entirely happy. and i'm okay with that. the bad things help me realize how lucky i am to have the good things, and it helps me appreciate it more.
i know how i may blow things out of proportion sometimes, and i know very well that i get my hopes up for things that don't always meet the unreachable standards that i manage to set in my mind. Turning 16 tomorrow is huge for me, but i'm almost positive that either people forgot, or if they remembered, they don't really care. i mean, half the people i know care enough either don't go to my school, or are out of town. hopefully i'll be able to figure it out tomorrow.
i might not be on here for a while. the next entry i post will be at the end of december, i'm sure. maybe by then i'll know what my new years resolution will be.