The other day, while I just nonchalantly decided to fill out a survey on Myspace, I came across a question that kind of interested me.
Is it more common for you to follow your heart or your mind?
This kind of thing has always stumped me. For the longest time I had a heart full of love, but whether or not it was good enough, my mind was what I constantly took after. Now, I'm not saying that's a bad thing; following your mind intertwines with the ideas of self-respect, common sense, and being confident in knowing what you really deserve. But with all good, comes the bad. Thinking solely with my mind about relationships caused me, personally, to have doubt every which way I turned. It made me loose some of the greatest influences and individuals in my life. I couldn't get over the fact that I knew perfection in a significant other wasn't humanly possible, but that I'd always think there was something more out there for me, or that there was more I had to learn before I could convince myself that genuine people weren't putting on some sort of an act. I've come to characterize people who think with their mind as the kinds of people who can be genuinely happy single, though they long for a "perfect," functional, all around amazing relationship (aka. hopeless romantics-like me!). However, while following your heart and following your mind seem worlds apart, people who fall under either category seem to still generally want the same thing.
Now on the other hand, thinking with your heart has it's ups and downs as well. I have several friends who consistently throw themselves into useless relationships with guys or girls who'd pass them a compliment or two just to get their attention. Ladies, coming from a girl who KNOWS: don't let the sweet talk fool you. Don't commit yourself to a guy (or in dudes' cases, a girl) unless you're completely sure they can put action to their words, and that they mean what they say. If you know that they're the kind of kid who'll go off saying those kinds of things to any girl (or guy) with a pretty face, than chances are it's a waste of time. However, thinking with your heart can actually equally offer you much happiness. Most people with a big heart, and a lot of love they want to give are the ones who find themselves thinking with their hearts. While being this way is similar to taking a stab in the dark, it still doesn't make it impossible for someone to find the person they've been searching for their whole lives. Thinking with your heart keeps you on edge, it makes your life about 1000 times more interesting day to day. I somewhat characterize people who think with their heart as those who feel they need to be in a relationship to be happy. And while jumping in and out of relationships, they manage to still want the same things that anyone, whether thinking with their heart or mind, wants.
I spent so many years sifling through all of the mess that comes with "crushing" on someone/"liking" somone/"loving" someone. Finally, after all this time, I found someone worth waiting for. After all the boys who screwed me over, and all of the guys who took back what they said, I found the one who wouldn't dare do either of those things. I started to think with my mind, as well as my heart, and for once in a long time they both came to a reasonable agreement. And by allowing myself to just dive right in to a real relationship for the first time in my life, I remembered what it was like to just live again. I've grown up in fear of how I project myself towards other people, and slowly but surely I'm unwinding myself from that habit, and the more I do, the happier I've found myself becoming. This is really what it's like to think with my mind, and my heart. I've come to realize what it takes to make things feel perfect, which because I fall into the first category, makes me as happy as I think I'll ever be.
So, that was just a little side note on how freakin' elaborate my train of thoughts can get! I hope it made sense to anyone reading it, by the way. While trying to keep up with this blog, school work, and my life, things get a little hectic. I'm thinking it's time for me to relax a little bit today, so, I'm off.