Ohh, what an interesting, passionate topic. Now I'm sure this far into me writing in this blog everyday, the topic of love takes up about 84% of it. And that's simply because, I'm so infatuated by it. I'm still unsure if I've truly felt what it's like, but I know for a fact I've at least come as close as a girl of my nature can. Falling in love can be such an easy thing. I mean, it takes more of one's effort to hate someone, than to love them. And the only thing that makes such lovers hesitant, is the ideas of getting their heart broken to pieces. I completely understand this, and I wish it didn't have to be that way. Really. I'm tired of having to pick through boys who believe they're strong enough to be complete jerks to the downright core. When people ask "Do you fall for players often?" I can honestly say no. I'm not foolish, I'm picky enough to know when someone's not genuinely looking for the kind of relationship I am. It's hard for me to even be friends with someone that barely shares my interest. And when all they do is try hit on me? Yeah, it doesn't really work out for me.
I can't stress enough how much my mind isn't in the right place right now, for me to throw myself out there in the dating field again like I thought I could. I'm lonely as anyone could be these days, but I can't rush into anything because I have other priorities I need to focus on right now. But, as much as I'm feeling more like I'm in the right place, the old thoughts of months ago rush back into my mind, and I realize once again; I'm horrible at falling out of love. I just can't do it, you know? As good as I think I am at all of this "relationship" and "dating" stuff, there's still so much that I know I'll never be able to do. I guess you could say that it's better to care too much, than to care too little, but the fact of the matter is, you get hurt either way. I just can't wait until I can actually find someone who shares the same general idea as I do. And someone that actually won't jump into trying to start a relationship with me within the first few days they know me. Each time that happens, it makes me want to hold on to things I've had tighter and tighter.
Love's not fair; not one bit. Sometimes it works in your favor, and sometimes it can make you hate almost every aspect about life. I wish I wasn't such a drama queen when it came to that kind of stuff- you know, I've noticed, I wish for a lot of things. It makes me look as if I always want what I can't have. Sometimes, I'll admit, that's the case, but not always. I appreciate my life a little more than the average teenager, and anything I say that sounds depressing is only my venting. And I'm sure I'll be venting about love much, much more in the future. But hopefully, I'll be able to post something cute, and meaningful about a boy sometime later in this blog, before I grow up and turn into the creepy lady with 27 cats. (PS. I hate cats.)