no stress, no need to impress, just.... fate.
in a world that basically FORCES us to be at least somewhat different, i don't understand how it's so hard for some people to be themselves,
and i will absolutely NEVER understand why someone would want to be anything like someone else.
i mean sure, i've seen other girls and been like, "oh, i wish i had her hair, it's ballin" or "i wish i was as funny as her!" or "that girl has great style! i wanna buy a dress like that" or something, yadayada. yada.
but like... some people take it too far.
buying the same clothes.
using the same phrases.
getting the same accessories.
acting the same way.
copying the same mannerisms.
pretty much being the same friggin' person.
(surprisingly enough, i'm talking about a boy here)
but REALLY! like, how could you expect to genuinely progress in a relationship if you have to be consciously aware of who you are? i understand that you're just eager to impress, and it's okay, but a temporary fix does not cure a long-term desire. and how on EARTH do you expect to let someone else love you and accept you, if you can't even love and accept your own self for who you are?
i understand if girls (or guys) may tweak themselves in order to look cuter, or do more things to impress someone so they can fit someone's "type," or be just like girls/boys they've dated in the past... but guess what? there's a reason things didn't continue strong with whomever they affiliated with before--regardless of how awesome or perfect those people may have seemed. there had to have been something missing, which means making yourself just like those old girls or guys is incredibly useless. any person you're interested in wouldn't even have a "type" if it weren't for girls they've met who stood out, different from the norm, and were potentially a little weird. don't just be another notch in their belt, be what they didn't know they were missing until they found. i have yet to find a boy who considered his "perfect match" to be a girl who was alike to any other girl he knew, and i have yet to find a girl who considered her "ideal guy" to have all of the virtues of almost every guy she knew.
(regardless, i understand if you're hesitant on taking my advice. i've gone from being a love-guru who thought she was on her way to potentially knowing what it's like in the mind of a boy, to being single, and pretty much screwed over by every guy since then. but hey, just cause i'm rusty doesn't mean i'm not wise!)
but foreals. since as a human, i can relate, i know that no normal human being enjoys drama, or complications, or making something harder than it needs to be (that's not what she said.)
so... being yourself and doing what you know or love, and letting love FIND you, well, pffft! piece. of. cake.
say, you swindle your way into getting a first date with someone, and you manage to get past it with swaggadelic colors.. what happens next?
a) you continue with the wonderfully concocted lies and make them fall in love with you... even though that "you" isn't even really you.
OR
b) you try to explain your lies and hope they still want you?
CAN YOU IMAGINE ONCE YOU GET TO THE MARRIAGE POINT?
you just cannot go your whole life living someone else's. as much as you want to be the perfect person for someone else, trying to change doesn't cut it.
boys: girls are THEE most weirdly observant and critical creatures on the face of the planet... you really think they're not going to overanalyze everything and see that something's off?
girls: guys are the simplest beings there are, the moment they trace a sign of confusion or having to do more work with you than they would the next pretty face, they're gonna dip faster than Lay's, brahh.
people would be so much easier to get to know and get along with if they weren't so conscious of how they acted and looked. i mean i know we fall under those cliche trends, with that ol' influence from the media and such--i'm guilty of it too!--but... if we're so aware that we're following trends and that it's destroying us, it seems weird that we haven't just... stopped.
funny, that as i think of this, lists begin to come to mind.
here's two, of the following things that girls say/do to impress, and guys say/do to... well, i guess fuck with our minds:
guys:
-"you look beautiful without make up on"
-"i love you"
-"you're so much prettier than (insert name here)"
-"babe/hun/baby/love"
-"i just need to find a girl who i can actually respect"
-"i hate guys who don't know how to be a gentleman.. show some respect"
(hahahahahah that one's my favorite..)
-wear snapbacks after they got "cool"
-act like a badass/hardass/douche cause you think it's what all the ladies like
girls:
-"i play xbox"
-"bro"
-"i love this sports team!"
-"CoD/LoL/GoW"
-"let's just hook up"
-"i know you're just friends, i'm not jealous"
-"food= my best friend"
-hanging out with his friends
-never overreacting even when your feelings are hurt
if you'd like to attract the genuine trashy, fake girls, or the die-hard selfish, douchey boys... please continue to say/do these things even if they're complete bullshit. i don't know about you, but i'd like to find someone i actually had a lot in common with anyways; otherwise, it'd get too boring.
(which is why i tend to go for those skinny jean wearing, long haired, cute faced, music playing hipsters... guilty. as. charged.)
sure, i may fall under some of those female phrases listed above, but the difference is i don't BRAG about it to lure in guys. instead, if i want to at least try impress a guy, i play on my strengths like my absolute love for music, and my quirky yet insanely awkward personality and sense of humor.
GUYS&LADIES: by all means, it's not a bad thing to be confident in who you are and to show it off a little to impress. but PLEASE show who YOU are. someone, somewhere out there is going to fall in love with every precious thing you are, and every insignificant thing you're not.
and isn't that what we're actually looking for?
like it was once said on scrubs (or something): someone doesn't have to be perfect to be perfect for you.
simplicity is key, folks. i don't know how else to put it.
i know for a fact if/when i fall for a boy, i'm going to see him for the true person he is 100% of the time.
no gimmicks. the only time i'd see not being your true self towards someone is if you wanted to impress them knowing you'd never really have to see them or interact with them ever again. rare, but it happens i suppose. but even on those occasions... there's something about being yourself in every given situation that really makes you more confident in your actions, and others reactions. trust me, people can tell when they're getting the real deal.
aaaaaaand, y'know, there's nothing sexier than a boy who knows who he is, without being too cocky about it.
(as i say, "take notes" to my imaginary list of boys who like me/would date me/adore me/....would even read this blog.) <--- hahahahahaa