i feel happy for a new reason today.
i remember all the way back to my big switch from elementary- jr. high, and my even more intense jr. high- high school switch, and both of those times i genuinely worried that i wouldn't make new friends because i hadn't wanted to. i'm the kind of girl who usually sticks to what she knows, however i've grown more open to change and new things because i'm aware it's apart of life and it's natural.
my first switch from elementary to jr. high was so incredibly hard for me. i've moved a lot in my past, sure, but even though i only spent 5th grade and 6th grade in AZ, i still got so attached to friends i was afraid of losing. my best of friends back then were kylee nelson, sydney weinberger, raquel espinoza, tyler creamer, jennifer strand, jacob avila, and hallie grothaus. (and partially erik ziraldo, but not really). We all promised we'd stay close forever back in 6th grade, because we were being split up between bogle and santan. look at us now? completely spread across the board, in an astonishing 4 years. kylee's into cheerleading, tyler's into football, jennifer's intensely into music, hallie's more into fashion, syd's got new friends, and so does raquel. me, well, i'm not sure where i stand, but i know it's much more different than what they all have been into. but, looking back, it's okay. i'm proud to say that for the past 4 years we all (almost) have yet to fail showing up to the basha elementary carnival every. single. march. it makes me happy knowing that no matter how hectic our lives we get, we always have time to reminisce. later in jr. high i found myself surrounded by so many new faces, yet i molded myself in quite nicely and have grown bonds still strong to this day. i was afraid of being alone when it was the last thing i could have been at santan. i made so many friends, best friends, and 8th grade was one of the greatest years of my academic life.
my switch from jr. high to high school was inevitably harder than i ever thought possible. either kids were going to perry, hamilton, or basha. it was a hard transitioning process, to our very first year in high school without each other, and the summer prior to freshman year one of my best friends moved away to louisiana. she currently molded herself in perfectly there, by the way. moving away is harder than just transitioning schools, obviously, but i guess when i was younger i always managed to put myself out there and i was happily surrounded by the best of friends throughout my entire life. in my friend's case, i think her body was in arizona but her heart was awaiting her in louisiana the entire time.
oh wow, hamilton had to have been one of the most intimidating places i had ever been in, to be honest, whether it's the intense amount of people, or the school in general. at santan, i was a big fish in a little pond, happy, and believing that i didn't need change, and not wanting it one bit. i truly can remember feeling as if i couldn't imagine starting over again, as a little fish in an even bigger pond with nothing to keep me stable at all whatsoever. my three best friends weren't even going to my high school, and i had the pressure of how i was gonna feel, or how i was gonna act and portray myself, or who the hell i was even gonna be for the next 4 years of my life. it's a lot to handle, you know. why do you think teenagers are so moody? just take a real look into the mind of one and you'd understand we have the rest of our lives to think about, not to mention the remainder of our high school careers.
within one year, one amazing year of bond building and making a fresh new start in my life freshman year, i can't help but thank the educational system. it allowed me to break free from my comfort zone; meet new people, try new things, get close with people i would have never imagined befriending in my entire life. it gave me a real reality check and allowed me to find out who i should be and what my values are. i've learned more in and out of school in the past year and a half than i could have ever imagined. the unexpected outcomes of life leave me awe-struck sometimes.
so far, in my sophomore year, i find myself fitting comfortably at hamilton, and i feel like i belong so much. i know who i am now, i truly do, and i know what kind of people i want in my life, and i love the one's currently in my life unconditionally for making my days so much brighter. i love being able to walk down the halls and greet the majority of the people who pass by. i love being able to be close enough with my friends from hamilton to have all sorts of conversations with them, or hang out with them doing who knows what. i love the probability of being able to go anywhere around chandler and seeing someone i know and someone i can say hey to, or talk to. i love it all. i love the comfortability factor, it just makes me so happy. it makes high school about 100 times easier on occasion, i'll tell you that right now. friends are everything to me. whether i briefly know you, or you're one of my best friends, i can honestly say you've already done sooo much for me, without even trying. so many people i know tell me all the time how much they hate hamilton, or how they can't wait to get out. aside from the grueling early hours and loads of homework, i wouldn't trade the life i have right now involving school for anything else.
college is another huge step i've yet to take, and i'm going to embrace the amazing things and people i have in high school now, before it's too late. i'm sure i sound like a loser for writing a whole blog about how desperately i need and cherish friendship, but i guess it was just something to think about, and something i don't regret rambling on about.
and you know, honestly? i cannot even wait to walk onto and down that stage in front of a huge audience filled with a mixture of my peers, their siblings, and their overly excited parents. a diploma in one hand, a smile on my face, a sense of maturity, and an unknown sensation in my mind and heart knowing i'm going to be a part of the greatest graduating class i could have ever asked for; 2012.