I've always been a writer. Ever since I was little, I've been obsessively writing poems, stories, and anything you can think of during almost all of my free time. And at an early age, I realized that when I was older, I hoped to pursue Journalism, because writing in general meant so much to me, and still does to this day. Although, I've found something quite interesting.
I never exactly planned on doing this blog to inspire, or do much. I never wanted to say something to please someone at another computer screen, or anyone else who's eyes eventually fall on this blog. Maybe I'm so surprised to know that more and more people read, since I'm used to people consistently writing me off, or not letting anything I have to say really mean a thing to them. And it just makes me feel good knowing that there are people willing to listen to what I have to say, even if it's 90% rambling about who knows what. I've found that more and more people just like reading this, because they're open to understanding that it's completely alright to feel things, and it's completely alright to let the world know. That's what I've been doing. Lately, I haven't felt the need to hide much of anything from anyone. I'm honestly not afraid of being judged. I can't fake what I have to say, what I do, what I enjoy, and what I'm all about. This is who I am, and who I am is all I can offer.
I've kind of noticed, in a general sense, that hiding what we are, and sometimes who we are happens quite often. I mean, hello? I'm in high school. It is far easier said than done to "be yourself." Am I right? I've spent countless times stressing myself out, wondering why I'm doing things I'm doing, or why I've gotten myself into certain situations I would have never guessed I'd be in just a year prior to it. I'm not gonna sit here and tell you that I've never been a shy, kept-to-myself kind of girl. And I'm not even gonna say that being so is a bad thing. Everyone hides something, and I think doing so isn't as horrible of a thing to be experiencing as most people assume it is. One satisfying thing in life, is to find a way to release the things you're holding back, and just live. Sometimes it happens in high school, and sometimes it happens much, much later in life. Either way, it can't be rushed, and when it happens, it happens. Entering high school, I almost felt as if I needed to find people to influence me, and people I could stand behind so I could just get through the next 4 years without worrying. And I'm more than happy to have realized that in the duration of my Freshman year, I have grown stronger as a person, independently, and more so of the kind of person I've always wanted to be, which is nothing like who I thought I'd become. It's one of the greatest feelings in the world, when you truly, genuinely feel like you've found yourself. And through that exuberant feeling, I've felt almost nothing but excitement to continue the next 3 years of my high school career, wanting to love every minute of it.
It means an unimaginable amount to me that you guys make this blog a part of your day, even if it's just briefly for a few minutes. I know that some of these entries can be pretty stupid, boring, or weird, but I really appreciate being heard. This whole idea of rambling online started out as just an idea I found, that actually helped me get things off of my chest, to get through the day. And now, I'm glad to know that it's used as a way of letting some of my friends or anyone reading this, understand, in a sense, what I'm about and what my values are. It lets everyone know that I'm actually living the same mistakes, successes, and loses as a lot of people are, and that I'm always, always here for anyone who ever wants to talk about it. I can't even believe the responses and awesome feedback I actually get from writing this blog day to day. Honestly, I didn't think people would mind looking at it much, since it was just something I used as a form of venting. But now, I feel as if it means more. I really am going to keep this kind of thing up, because it's really something I look forward to doing each day. And if you like reading it, don't be afraid to let me know! This blog is alike to a safe-haven for me, and I'd like everyone know that they're always welcome to talk to me about anything, and everything.