Hello there.
I can honestly say I don't know what strange force is driving me to decide to pick up this whole blogging thing again, but whatever it is, I think I'm going to follow through with it. Yeah, this has got to be the third time I've attempted to keep up a steady blog, and I've been told I'm horrible at keeping up with it several times. But oh well, let's see if things'll change.
So, in case you don't already know me well enough, I'm Desiree. I'm fifteen, and I'm probably unlike any other person you will ever meet. (and trust me, I'm not just saying that.) I believe I have very contradictory traits, but I guess that's just who I am. I can be strong, but weak. Funny, but serious. Smart, but stupid. Immature, but I act older than I am most of the time. I don't make enemies, and I hate absolutely no one. About 8 times out of 10 I'll come off as a very happy girl, whether I really am happy or not. I joke around a lot, but when anyone needs help I try do everything humanly possible to make everything alright. I am definitely happy with who I am. there's no doubt about it. Mentally, I've grown to learn more than enough life lessons, and my character is based off of what I know is right, and what I believe in. Emotionally, I know I can be a better person, but the fact that I'm still learning is what makes me, me. Physically, I may seem like I care too much about how I look, but I'm definitely happy exactly the way I look, no matter what. My likes generally involve music, friends, and nature. The simple things in life seem to always have more value than material things.
I strive on keeping good people in my life, and unforgettable people close to my heart. I've lost friends, gained friends, been lied to by friends, and have been inspired by friends as well. But I've realized that no matter the case, things happen for a reason. When they say "you find who your true friends are in high school," it's actually true. I have no idea what kind of slump I would be in if I didn't have my best friends that I have now, in my life for as long as they have been. I'd just like to take any chance I can get to thank them for being in my life, and never leaving my side.
I've recently realized I usually have very high tolerance for people I genuinely care for, but low tolerance for people who don't deserve to be tolerated. Almost always, I say what's on my mind, no matter how stupid I look, and no matter what the end result may be. It's just been the kind of person I am, and I kind of like it, at times. Yes, it gets me in my fair share of fights or arguments, but if that's what it takes to allow myself to be heard, then so be it.
I'm single, in case that effects anyones life in any way, which odds are, it doesn't. No, I've never been in a relationship before, but no, I'm not exactly looking for a few reasons. I've had "things" far too many times, but something always goes wrong, and I still can't help but blame myself for those mishaps. I'm EXTREMELY sentimental, beyond belief, and that isn't the greatest thing to be when you're nearly forced to get over certain people you imagined never living without. But, I do it... usually. It's hard, and it's not really fair, but like I said, things happen for a reason, and I only wait for people I have a gut feeling will come around in the end. Call me pathetic, stupid, or even tell me that I deserve better. But "the heart wants what the heart wants."
Life, currently, is not at it's best. My family is facing a harsh time, I feel like I'm distancing away from people I thought I never could distance from, and shitty things keep happening. It's almost like there's nothing to do, so I usually keep my mouth shut, but deep down I'm about ready to explode, I'm just so... I don't even know; FULL of mixed emotions I can't even control, and I hate it. Anxious, scared, happy, sad, angry, lonely, immature, sick, hopeful, confused...
I just hope and pray almost every day that something or someone can come along and help me feel alright. And for now, that's all I can and will do. I know things will be alright in the end. And if things aren't alright, then I know it's not the end.
So, basically, that's my life currently in a nutshell. There's a lot more that I'm just a little too lazy to write out, but hopefully if I can keep this up, you'll be able to figure it out sooner or later. Thanks for reading if you haven't gotten too bored yet. I'm sure I'll have a lot more to say and a load of entries to express it all.